


Sensitive

by carry_on_my_wayward_butt



Series: Sensitivity [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Triggers, danisnotonfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:06:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4091644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carry_on_my_wayward_butt/pseuds/carry_on_my_wayward_butt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan was in an abusive relationship in his late teens just before he met Phil, and he's since then been hypersensitive to loud noises and very sudden movements. Phil, in a temporary lapse of judgement, yells at Dan and causes him to have a flashback.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sensitive

**Author's Note:**

> hey hi there y'all some of you may know me as the Stealing my Thunder girl (or not cause ya know it's nothing special) and um so yeah here i am i'd seen stuff like this on tumblr and i was like "imma try my hand at this bitch" and i know i'm a shitty writer sorry so here it is *throws oneshot at you and runs*

_"You know you're never going to be good enough for me, don't you, Danny?" Kellyn purred, twisting a lock of Dan's hair between his fingers. "I'm only settling for you. I could easily get up and leave you. You know that, don't you?" Dan couldn't help but nod vigorously, eyes squeezed shut in some sad attempt to make this hellish world disappear. Kellyn was right, of course. Dan was just a kid, no more than seventeen, and he was far from extraordinary. He was paunchy and wimpy, and everything about his face was disproportionate. Kellyn only stayed with him out of pity. Kellyn was the sun, perfect in every way. He could-- he **did** have anyone he wanted, even while dating Dan. Kellyn never tried to hide it anymore, not pulling his shirt collar up to cover the hickeys on his neck that weren't Dan's, not bothering to come home until late morning after one of his increasingly common one-night stands. Dan had to be thankful that he got to have even a bit of Kellyn, though, cheating disregarded. He didn't deserve a boyfriend, period, especially not one as flawless as Kellyn._

_"Don't you? Answer me, Danny," he cooed, yanking harshly on the strand of dark hair. Dan whimpered in pain and discomfort, less than okay with how Kellyn was positioned on top of him in exactly the right spot that he couldn't move if he tried. Couldn't escape if he tried. Dan didn't know what to do. Sure, Kellyn had hit him plenty of times, as punishments for talking to other boys, disobeying in bed, etcetera. Dan even had scars across his back from the time a drunkard had come up to him at the bar and, without warning, kissed him smack on the mouth right in front of Kellyn. Dan had tried so hard to apologize, but he was dragged home and tied to the bedpost while his boyfriend brought out a belt. But this was a different kind of scary from the beatings. There was this manic glint in Kellyn's eyes that told Dan to be very careful. He nodded again, trying hard not to make eye contact, but Kellyn grabbed his face and turned it so Dan really didn't have a choice._

_"Answer me, I said, you stupid whore. Do you deserve me?"  When Dan just trembled violently, Kellyn gripped his arms tight enough for bruising and yelled, " **Do you?** " Dan cried out when Kellyn's fist collided with his face, surely leaving a great welt. When he could breathe again, Dan gasped out, "N-no, sir. I don't... don't deserve you." Kellyn's wide, insane smile sent a cold shock up his spine._

_"You don't deserve anyone, slut, let alone me," Kellyn murmured in his ear. "This isn't for your pleasure. Just mine. I couldn't care less whether or not you're comfortable."_

_"Wh-what?" Dan tried to break his arms free of his boyfriend's painful embrace, but he was just shoved hard in the chest, making it very clear that he wasn't getting away any time soon. Kellyn reached down to rip Dan's shirt away, scratching harsh lines down his chest._

_"I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do to you, and you're not going to stop me. You're not gong to tell anyone either, not that anyone would believe a lying whore like you. Are we clear?" All Dan did was squirm and wail softly, trying his hardest to get away. He should have seen earlier how quickly the abuse was escalating, but it was too late now. Nobody could help him. Even if they could, who would want to help someone like Dan? Kellyn dragged his nails heavily across Dan's neck, causing immediate bleeding, and this time Kellyn really did scream. "ARE WE?"_

_Dan, reduced to naught but a jumble of hot salty tears and sobs, whispered with absolute terror, "Yes, sir."_

☆  ☆  ☆  ☆  ☆

Phil had known from the very beginning of his and Dan's relationship that Dan's previous ones (or one, specifically) hadn't been good. He knew to an extent about how poorly that one particular boyfriend had treated Dan, although Phil's knowledge on exactly how poorly was very limited. He knew that the guy had yelled at Dan quite a lot, which meant that Dan had a major sensitivity to loud noises now. Phil always had to be very careful, especially during arguments, not to slip up and get too noisy or else risk giving Dan a flashback. There had apparently been 'occasional' hitting and other physical abuse, though Dan had been very vague when Phil asked him to specify something about it. Phil knew he certainly wasn't getting the whole story, but he knew way better than to push Dan into reliving what must have been awful memories. It was hard, though, sometimes, to remember exactly how he had to treat Dan. Thankfully, Phil hadn't ever slipped up and raised his voice, until that one day in April.

They were arguing. That in itself wasn't anything uncommon. The two of them argued a lot over stupid, tedious things, like lions versus llamas and things like that. The unusual thing was that this fight was more serious, more emotional, more genuine. There had been such stressful things going on recently, what with the book and the tour and Playlist and everything in between. Dan and Phil were bound to butt heads at some point in time. That day's fight was much more meaningful and important than their idiotic animal debates and such. It had started like a normal conversation, them discussing the fact that they had two beds when they only ever slept in Phil's.

"Why do we even have your stupid bed?" Phil whined, trying to cuddle Dan close to him on the couch only for Dan to swat Phil's hand and stick his tongue out. "It just takes up a bunch of unnecessary space. We could have, like, and entire room just for our DVDs and video games if we destroyed your bed and moved all your stuff into my room." He pouted up at Dan, who snorted good-naturedly.

"Yeah, 'cause it wouldn't look at all suspicious to the viewers that the two supposedly straight best friends happened to share nt only a room, but a bed as well. Good thinking," Dan scoffed. Phil's eyes widened and he grabbed his boyfriend's hand (lightly, of course, with Dan's aversion to touching, although it didn't tend to apply to Phil normally).

"To hell with the viewers," Phil said solemnly. "Why don't we just tell them? We've got nothing to lose. They'll support us, you know they will." Dan averted his eyes and inched ever so slightly away, just enough for Phil to notice. Phil's face fell. "Hey, I didn't say we had to or anything. I guess we can whenever you're ready. It's not-not a big deal," he mumbled. Phil didn't get why Dan cared so much about what their viewers thought, so much so that it was preventing him from fully sharing a room with his boyfriend of  _six damn years_. Phil just wanted Dan to be more open to suggestions, especially the ones from which negative aspects simply didn't project. There were very few members of the Phandom who weren't hardcore shippers, and even the non-shippers would surely still be supportive.

"Look, I didn't say we couldn't," Dan sighed upon noticing Phil's hurt expression. "I guess I just want to wait, s'all."

"Wait for what, Dan?" Phil was suddenly frustrated. "We've been dating seriously for six fucking years, you can't honestly tell me you aren't ready to make us public." Phil'a voice had remained normal for that bit, but there was a sudden wave of anger and he yelled-- really yelled, "Can you?"

Phil didn't even realize his mistake at first, because for the first few seconds after his outburst he was focused on steadying his suddenly rapid breathing. But when he looked up a moment later, he had just enough time to see and register the terror settling into Dan's soft features, melting into his warm brown eyes. Everything started going in sow motion. Dan curled himself up, knees tucked into his chest, looking at Phil with this expression of pure horror. Phil's eyes went wide and he scooted much closer in to Dan, wrapping arms around him, crooning, "No, baby, it's okay, I've got you. You're safe. I swear I won't hurt you, angel. It's okay, okay, okay, okay."  Dan was a whimpering, stuttering mess inside Phil's cocoon-like embrace, whispering to himself more than to Phil.

"No, no, please," he wailed quietly. "I promise I'll be good, promise, promise, just don't hurt me, please don't hurt me. I'll do anything, just _please don't hurt me._ " It hurt Phil, physically pained him to see Dan like he'd never before, such a scared, blind wreck. And to top it all off, it was Phil's doing. He had raised his voice at Dan over something that was hilariously unimportant compared to Dan's mental health. All Phil could really do now was hold him until he calmed down.

"Hush, shh, I've got you, bear. I'm so sorry, Dan," Phil soothed, burying his nose in Dan's unstraightened hobbit hair. Dan's less-than-coherent mumbling slowed to a stop, and Phil could feel both their heartbeats calming down considerably. He breathed out in relief, hugging Dan just that little bit closer, murmuring "Sorry, sorry," into his boyfriend's temple. Dan grabbed at Phil's hand, breathing deep but thankfully steadily. They smiled shakily at eachother, and Phil whispered one last "Sorry," before they curled up under their little fuzzy blanket on the couch. All they did was lie there for some time, until Dan stroked Phil's hair gently and said softly, "He did more than just hit me." Phil nodded solemnly, unsurprised, grasping Dan's hand ever tighter.

"Will you tell me about it someday?" he asked, not really expecting an answer.

"Someday," Dan promised, eyes fluttering. "But not today. Okay?"

"Okay." A few long moments of comfortable silence, and then, "Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Yeah, twat, I love you too." Dan reached out to pull Phil's head closer. "Now shut up and nap with me, dork."

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy so tbh this is prolly total shit as it's 2:30 AM and i wrote this in under an hour but ya know, idgaf. hope you liked it and stuff. i have more fics on this profile, my tumblr is fallouthelpme and my twitter is @byeyoungblood. speaking of which, i'm working on some FOB slashfic so idfk check back in in a month or so for yummy Peterick. i m a thirsty mama. good night


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